Many of my clients are seen as “the rock” or “the one that everyone else leans on for support.” This gives some men a temporary feeling of accomplishment (and a cherished part of their identity), but also without healthy outlets. Feelings of isolation, grief, sadness, disconnection, and worry eat away at them until they don’t know what to do. It can be scared to ask for help or worry what it will mean about us if we do reach out for support. In the end, this way of living will erode our mental health and our relationships from the inside out.
They wonder what happened to their friendships. When they looked around, they realized didn’t have a strong support network. Not of real friends, anyhow aside from the coworker at the watercooler or someone in their fantasy football league.
Without emotionally healthy role models, men can turn to media learn about masculinity. We might take our ideas of stress management and resolving conflict from characters like Han Solo, James Bond, William Wallace, or Scarface. And while there is a lot to admire about these figures, our life isn’t a movie.
And, honestly men are not taught how to do these things in school. Men often have poor role models. Many men can struggle to express emotions in a way to respects themselves and their partners. This can keep us from the healthy relationships that we so deeply desire. Relationships that are mutually nourishing, supportive, and authentic.
Whether or not we like to admit it, there is an epidemic of men’s mental illness in this country. Men are less likely to ask for the help that they need, but are in critical need for mental health support.
You might be like one of my many clients how saw images of other men being happy and fulfilled and couldn’t figure out where they went wrong. They didn’t know how to improve their lives or their relationship or would unconsciously sabotage their goals.
And when times get tough, they leaned on their significant other. But if relationship had starting to falter, they became either worried or detached. Even worse, after a relationship ended through breakup or divorce, they were left without any real support.
Therapy targeting men’s issues might address any number of concerns including:
Loss of a loved one
Breakup of a relationship
Thoughts about hurting yourself
Low self esteem
Take a breath, you’re in the right place!
Therapy can help you build a life of based around your values, your strengths, and your interests. You can build healthy and happy relationships. You deserve enjoy the time that you spend with your kids. You can develop supportive friendships. Our work might include building a new definition of health and taking healthy risks to help you tackle your goals. We will work on finding the right ways to work on and channel your energy to build a life that you love.
You might have waited a while to start therapy, and honestly, I give you credit for even looking. This can feel scary. But I promise you, there is no problem too big too work through. You don’t have to go through this alone, I can help. Call today.